(this article by Anna was originally published here in 2016, 6 April)

You may love them but you cannot live for them…

Living for yourself is not selfish. I’m not talking about a narcissistic self focus that excludes love and compassion for others. I’m talking about living for yourself for far nobler and honourable reasons.

These words do not speak of selfishness, but rather of love and integrity for oneself. We are, each one of us born with a divine contract in hand – to be ALL we are born to be.  Sure, at some stage of your life the need may be there to support someone you love, to help them until they regain their strength, or in the case of children, until they can physically and financially look after themselves. But we are not here to “carry” anyone.

You can feel the difference. Helping or supporting someone leaves you with a nice feeling. Carrying can feel like a weight on your shoulders. What began as an act of love can unwillingly shift and become a burden. 

If you have a significant 4 in your Life Profile chart or two or more of the letters VDM, then you are be more inclined to naturally do this, to move from supporting to carrying. Often without even realising you’ve done so.  

Even in the case of children, it’s important that we guide them according to the individuals they were born to be. To encourage them to see their beauty, talent and ability, to be happy, successful and self sufficient individuals, to be independent of us, their parents or caregivers. And the best way to do this is to BE this ourselves. Why? Because children learn what they live. 

If we pack up our life so we can fit into our children’s lives or our partner’s life, or as adult children, into our elderly parent’s life, sooner or later our Life Achievement Number or Heart Number, will prompt us, nudge us, or force us to remember that we also have our own Destiny to live, that we also are here to be all that WE were born to be. 

We have an obligation to inspire those we love to be and live their fullest potential. And it’s just as important that we do this devoid of resentment, always with empathy, encouragement and much love, whilst at the same time honouring, being and living our own authentic life in the process. 


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Emissaries of prayer REPLACING soldiers armed for battle (from our archives, 27 April 2015)


  1. Rosslyn Vail ( Lyn Ross )
    April 30, 2016 at 10:07 pm — Reply

    Anna, I always enjoy reading your enlightened and inspiring newsletter. Thank You for continuing to be the light on my path. Your words say more concisely what takes others to speak volumes. Rosslyn.

    • May 1, 2016 at 11:39 am — Reply

      Thank you for your kind words Rosslyn, because they inspire me to keep going, and so in this way we encourage one another. My best to you!

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